Suicidal Savior
by xxperfectweaponxx
Summary: Gwen is suicidal. She feels like she should just end it all. She has done it before but had failed. So she tries again. Will she end it all or change her mind?
1. 1 So long and goodnight

**Suicidal Savior **

_**Gwen's POV**_

I'm doing it again. Time to try again. Five weeks is long enough, here I go again.

I've attempted suicide before but I failed because two of my friends Courtney Smith and Bridgette Andrews found me right after I slit my wrists. They pulled me into there car and dragged me to the hospital. When I was recovering my mom suggested I get help. I asked her what kind of help. She flinched and said you could go to the mental hospital. I almost lost it the minute she said that so I tried to stay as calm as possible even though I was just about ready to blow up inside. I told my mom that I didn't need to go to the Looney Hut and I promised that I wouldn't do it again. After that incident the one who was most worried about me was my best friend Duncan Shaw. He kept me away from sharp objects ever since.

I grab my old jump rope from the garage. I remember when I was younger I used to play with it all the time. Then when I got a bit older me and Duncan would tie my brother up to a tree. But those are just distant memories, memories that will stay with me until the end which WILL be soon.

I slowly walk to my room thinking about all the people who will miss me. There's a voice in my head saying not many the most will be your mother and brother, but they won't miss you that much. I hang my head low. After that my decision is final. I'm going to do it. I open the door to my room slowly. I never really wondered why I want to die. I guess its cause I've made a lot of people mad and that I was bullied for the way I look. Even though the people who got mad forgave me and the bullying died down, I still think that there secretly still mad or still hate me. Take Courtney and Duncan for example. They have been dating for a while now and two days ago Duncan called her "amazingly smart" and I said in what world. They both looked at me in disgust. Of course I apologized but I think that every person I ticked off is planning revenge against me. I bet even Trent Adams my boyfriend wouldn't be that upset if I die.

I start to tie the rope in my closet. I hear my brother Jordon walk in the house. "Gwen? You home." He calls. At that moment my statue of the parliament, the one I got in 8th grade when we went to Ottawa, my countries capital, falls on my foot from the top shelf in my closet. "OWW! SON OF A-"I cry but Jordon hears me "Gwen?" I hear him running up the stairs. I quickly grab a chair and finish my dirty work. I put the loop around my neck and take one last look at my room. My purple wallpaper, my desk with my computer, my bed in the corner of my room, posters of my favorite bands , horror movies and last pictures of me, Duncan, Trent, Bridgette, Courtney and are other friend Geoff miller. My brother knocks on my door then bursts in the room out of breath. He's wearing his football jersey and a pair of baggy jeans. Jordon's a year younger then me. I'm eighteen, he's seventeen.

"What's the point of him knocking if he's going to come in without permission" I ask myself.

"Gwen?" he asks. He looks at me confused. "Good bye Jordon". I say. For a split second I think of my life so far. I was just a waste of time and energy. With that I push the chair with my foot. I hear Jordon's ear piercing scream. Before I know it I'm dangling in the air. Jordon rushes over and holds me in his arms. He quickly takes the rope off me. I quickly start gasping for air then I start feeling really lightheaded At that moment I decide that I'm not ready to die. I still want to accomplish things in life. I hear Jordon dialing the phone. He tells the operator what happened. I'm not ready to die not yet. Great time to decide I tell myself. Everything starts fading hear the door open again Duncan walks in. "GWEN!" he cries. I remember NOW that I invited him over? I'm such an idiot. He looks into my eyes and I look into his. The most amazing blue I have ever seen. I'll miss his eyes. If I was such an idiot I wouldn't have to say good bye to anything. With the last bit of strength I have left I put my hand on Duncan's which is on the floor next to mine. The last thing I hear is Duncan calling my name, and then the world goes blank.

I wake up in a black room in a white dress that goes up to my knees. The dress is billowy. The sleeves go up to my elbows, dangle down and are very ruffled. "Where am I?" I ask almost in tears. Then I see my great grandparents. There both white outfits. My great grandma is in a long dress with long sleeves and my great grandpa is in a white tux with a white tie. "Hello darling" My great grandma says sweetly. "Where am I" I ask. "Oh sweetheart, you don't know?" My great grandpa asks. I shake my head now. They look at each other with pained expressions. "You're dying sweetheart." They tell me with sad eyes. "I-I-I'm W-what?" I ask. My throat starts to tighten and the back of my eyes are pinching with tears threatening to come out. Im not ready to die. Im so stupid why the hell would I want to die? "You're dying" my great grandfather says slowly with sad eyes.

What did I just do?


	2. 2 Fallen Star

_**Gwen's pov**_

I'm in a total shock. Why would I try to kill myself? Oh wait I know why because I'm a stupid teenager. I don't know why but I was really depressed when I did that. I look around and I'm being levitated. "What's happening?" I ask my great grandparents. No answer. I look around the room. Nothing but darkness. I would normally enjoy being in a dark place with no light all by myself, but right now I'm- I'm terrified, terrified because I might never see my friends or family again. The only light there is, is the bright sparkly light that's making me levitate. Tears start to pour down my cheeks. I haven't cried in a while. It feels good. To let the angry, sad and scared emotions all come pouring out. I used to cry a lot before I first attempted suicide. I even cried when I slit my wrists. I wish I got a second chance at living. Maybe when I did it the first time it was a sign, a sign that I'm not meant to die just yet. But it's too late. I'm dead. I start to cry harder and the tears come out harder. They fall to the ground. I look down and I'm wearing a pair of sparkly white flats. Then it hits me why am I wearing all white I think to myself. My great grandparents were wearing all white. There has to be a reason. "Why am I wearing all white?" I ask.

Finally saying it out loud. The room starts to shake. I start to scream not knowing what's happening. Then I start to fly up. I fly up faster then any roller coaster I've ever been on. I feel as if I'm going a thousand miles an hour. Then I get the answer to why I' am wearing all white, The reason I was going so fast and the reason I was being levitated by a bright sparkly light. I was going to the gates of heaven. Now I knew I was for sure dead and not dreaming. Even though I knew I was dead. There was a ball of hope in the pit of my stomach that was saying I wasn't dead and I was only dreaming. But I' am dead. I slowly make my way to a Man sitting at a desk in a white robe with long sleeves. I've seen him before i think to myself. He had Short white hair and a white beard . He was something something at his desk. His desk was next to a lever that said open and drop. I finally knew how that was. St peter's. He looks up from whatever he's writing and looks up at me. He puts on a grin. "Hello, Welcome to heaven." he says. I stand there not knowing what to do. "Well don't be a stranger, come here, I don't bite" he says with a chuckle. I walk closer to his desk. "Okay can I have your first, your middle and your last name please?" he asks. I nod my head "My name is Gwendolyn Anna Myer. " I say. He looks in a big book. "Uhh Gwen your not supposed to be here." he says concerned. "What do you mean?"

I question. I feel a tight knot in my stomach. What does he mean I'm not supposed to be here am I supposed to go to _Hell? _I wrap my arms around my stomach, hugging myself. "You're supposed to save your world." he says. "Uhh, what? Save my world?" I ask confused. He has to be kidding. Save my world? Is this a joke? "You have to stop the world from ending. Why is it so hard to believe?" he asks me. "Well first I couldn't even stop myself from committing suicide. If I couldn't do that then how can I stop the world from ending? " I ask. How do I even save the world if I couldn't save my self? "Well you'll figure it out. Gwendolyn-""Um I prefer Gwen." I say. He looks at me a little annoyed. "Umm okay Gwen You will figure it out. Now you have two options here. Option one you can stay here. You will be dead but you will stay here for eternity. Option two I can send you back and give you a second chance at life but you have to save the world."

I look down okay I can stay here never see my friends or family again or I can go back, save everyone from dying but will probably be miserable and won't be happy or have fun. "Now keep in mind that if you stay here it's not guaranteed that we will find someone else to save the world and if you leave you won't be back for a long, long time." he says to me.

This is the biggest decision I will ever make. I look down at the clouds that I'm standing on and look up again. I look up to face him. He gets a sad look after seeing my expression.

"I know what I want." I choke. He nods his head with an expression that could make anyone sad. I look down.

What am I doing?

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><p><em><strong>Duncan's pov <strong>_

I walk into Gwen's house and I hear her brother scream. I run up to Gwen's room. What the? I ask myself. I see Gwen lying in her brothers arms, blue in the face. He sets her down on the floor. "I'm calling 911." Jordon says. He has tears in his eyes and looks like he's been crying. Tears start to pour down my face a little too. I walk over to Gwen. I try to give Gwen mouth to mouth but she still keeps gasping for air. Like a fish out of water. I look at her fragile body slowly running out of air. It breaks my heart. This past month my best friend of 12 years turned me into a softie, a marshmallow. I can't lose her; I turn to her whenever I need advice, help or just need a friend. I look into her eyes. "Please Gwen don't go." I choke. I cress her cheek. She puts her hand on my hand which is on the floor next to mine. Her eyes then start to close. "No, No, NO! Gwen don't go!" I cry. The ambulance pulls up to her house. I pick her up. I go down stairs and hand her two a paramedic. I watch as they take her in the ambulance. Why did she do that I ask myself that over and over again. The ambulance leaves her house. "Come on I'll drive you to the hospital." I say to Jordon. We walk over to my car and get in. My car is a black 2010 truck.

The drive there is silent until we pull into the hospital. "Is Gwen going to make it?" Jordon chokes with tears in his eyes. "I'm not sure." I reply. We pull into a parked spot in the hospital parking. I can't believe she might be gone forever. We go to the front desk and they guide us to Gwen's room. I look at her lifeless looking body and tears start to come out. I hear her phone ringing. I pick it up. "Hello?" I ask in a miserable tone. "Duncan where's Gwen? She invited Me, Courtney, Geoff and Trent over. Were all standing outside her house." Bridgette says. "She umm" "She what Duncan?" Bridgette asks.

"She hung herself and is in the hospital." I finish. "WHAT?" she shrieks into the phone. I pull the phone away from my ear a bit. That girl can scream. "WHAT HOSPITAL?" she cries. "Elk hospital." I respond. "We'll be right there." She says. I hang up and put the phone back on the desk next to her bed. I turn around to face the doctor. "Yes doctor?" I ask. Jordon gets up and walks over too me. "Umm I'm sorry I have to tell you this but she might not make it." He says slowly. I choke up. "W-what?" I stutter. Jordon starts to cry and I stand there not being able to move.

Why? Why her I ask myself.

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><p><em><strong>Okay<strong>_ **_well thanks for reading! __please Review! _** **_well thanks for everything!_**


	3. 3 Almost Slipped Away

_**Duncan**__**'s POV**_

I stand there not being able too move. Why her? Why would she do that? She didn't seem like she was depressed. I look over at Jordon who is sitting on the chair next to Gwen's bed. His head is in his hands and I watch as his back lowers and rises. He cries into his hands. I walk over too him and put my hand on his back. "Jordon-" I sigh. What can I say to calm him down? "She's a strong girl. She's going to make it." I say. For the past hour I've been a total softie. Jordon looks up at me with tear filled eyes. "Ya think?" he says. "I know." I say. He gets up. "I'm going to go call my mom then go get something to drink, you want something?" he asks. "No I'm fine." I say. He leaves the room and I turn my head to Gwen. I look at her fragile body. Tears start to form in my eyes. I don't fight them I just let them out. I walk over too her bedside and kneel down. I grab her hand. I twist my finger through her fingers. I can't imagine life without her. Seeing her face. Vandalizing places with her. If I knew she felt that she should die, I would've saved her, kept her from doing this. She was my best friend, my partner in crime. I can't just let her die. My best friend. I look out the window it looks gloomy outside. A normal November day. I keep staring out the window. The Canadian flag flapping in the wind, people stepping on the thin layer of snow that should be me and Gwen walking in the snow. But she's here. Why would she do this? She didn't look like she wanted to die. Was she hiding her emotions? Probably. I lean my head down on her bed and let the tears fall out. I can't help it she's my best friend and I can't lose her. Memories of her and me flash through my mind. I hear a long beep. Oh god no, no, NO! I look up at her heart monitor and its beeping like normal. It starts to slow down a bit. I put my head back down on her bed, her hand still in mine and I start to sob more. "Dun-Duncan?" A small quite voice quivers. I slowly bring my head up to face the fragile beauty that called my name. "Gwen." I quiver. I look her in the eyes. They start to form tears. "GWEN!' I cry. I wrap my arms around and I sob onto her shoulder. Her arms are wrapped around me tightly. I hear her quite whimpers as she cries on my shoulder. I never want to let her go. We hold each other for while. I slowly turn her to face me. "Don't scare me like that ever again." I say. I-I'm so-sorry. Please don't hate me" She sobs while putting her head on my shoulder. "Hey, hey its OK I could never hate you, it's just why did you do it? I ask she looks at me with sad eyes.

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><p><em><strong>Gwen's POV<strong>_

I look at him with sad eyes. Should I tell him I did it because I thought everyone hated me? He is my best friend after all. He was also in tears. I've only seen him in tears once or twice. If he cared this much for me I should tell him. He deserves it. "I thought I was a screw up…."I trail off. I look down at my hospital gown." And I also thought that everyone hated me." I look up at him. He looks sad and broken. "It's just that I got everyone upset with me and I thought everyone hated me. I was also thinking stuff like what's the point and…. I just don't know." I say breaking down. "Gwen nobody hates you and everyone gets mad at me and I'm still living. There's also a big point to living. Gwen please don't leave me again…" he says. I nod my head. He smiles. "Your turning me into a softie you know that right." He says. I giggle. I laugh and talk with Duncan for several minutes. Then I remember what the angel said. I sigh. "What is it?" He asks. "Duncan after I hung myself I went heaven and well Duncan the world is going to end." I blurt Out he looks at me with a blank expression. "What?" He asks.

He probably thinks I'm crazy.

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><p>Well thanks for reading! Dxg thank you too! I haven't made anything new because school started (ick!) I'm Canadian school starts later. Ill try to upload more.<p>

Ive been busy i cant help it. Writing this relieved a lot of stress though! I love writing and i ll do it more!

Well bye!

- From, xxperfectweaponxx, Gwen and Duncan!


	4. 4 Here I stand

_**Gwen's POV**_

He looks at me with his teal eyes. "What are you talking about?" he asks. "I told you I saw and angel and she told me I had to save the world" I tell him. "Is there enough air in you head?" He asks. I roll my eyes. "Hey maybe you were just dreaming." He says. "Maybe, but it was so real." I reply. "Sometimes dreams do that." He says. I look down at the blanket that's up to my waist. I look up at Duncan and he looks at me and grins. I smile back. I love this, being with him talking. I reach over to my iphone 4. My mom bought it for me as a graduation present. I slide my thumb over to call history. Bridgette and my mom phoned when I was sort of dead. My mom called about a minute after I did it. Then I look to when Bridgette called.

1:15pm, 22 minutes after I tried to…die. It hurts just to think about it. I can't believe I wanted to die I want to stay here with my friend for as long as I can. I get a strange feeling when I read Bridgette's name. She gets worried about everyone, really worried. I don't want her to freak out over me. I glance up at Duncan who's twiddling his thumbs.

"Did you tell bridge what happened?" I ask. "Umm, seeing she called because she was standing outside your house with Geoff, Courtney and Trent I thought she should know where you were." He says. "Why did you tell-""GWEN!" Bridgette screeches. She runs in the room with everyone else and pulls me into a hug. In a split second I feel a second pair of arms hug me. I look up and it's Courtney. "OH MY GOD GWEN? ARE YOU OKAY WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?" Bridgette cries. "Bridge, court can't breath…" I gasp. "Sorry." Courtney says. They let go of me and I pull them into a normal _you're my bff forever_ hug. They hug back and I let them go.

Geoff comes over to me and pulls me into a hug. "Gwen you scared me." He says while letting me go. "Sorry." I say. He takes a step back so I have a full view of Tent. He's in tears. "Gwen…" He says. I spread my arms so he can come hug me. He rushes over and holds me in his arms. He kisses my checks I look at Duncan who is sitting on the foot of the bed with the rest of my friends.

He's rolling his eyes and look's disgusted. Why is he doing that? He has Courtney as a girlfriend. Trent looks up at me. "Don't ever do that to me again" he says. I nod my head and kiss him on the cheek. He backs up a bit letting me have a bit of space. Then Bridgette asks the question I dared to answer, why? Why did I try to die? "I thought I was a screw up and that everyone hated me." I say. I look up to see hurt faces. Duncan looks the most hurt. Like I stabbed him in the heart and stood there laughing. It breaks my heart. I see the hurt faces turn to the door. I turn my head and I look over at my brother. His eyes are puffed up from crying. He stands there looking at me. "Do I not get a hug from my little brother?" I say. He runs over too me and hugs me like he'll never see me again. I wrap my arms around him and hold him there. It feels like I've been hugging him forever. I let go of him. I scout over to the other side of the hospital bed so he could sit next to me. "Gwen…" Jordon says. "Yeah?"I ask. Promise you won't scare me like that ever again." "I promise I won't scare anyone like that ever again." I get smiles from my friends and my brother. We sit and talk until a gust of wind blows a newspaper onto my lap. I look around the room and they all looked confused and a bit freaked out. I scan the paper till something catches my eye. I read the front page.

_World to end: Canadian government gets call that world will end._

"I was right." I say. "About what." Duncan asks. I turn to the page it tells me and read it out loud.

"_Canadian Government gets a call from _

_Two people saying that they created a bomb _

_So__ powerful, when it blows up it will create a _

_Deadly__ explosion that will destroy the planet. _

_Canadian government dose not have Identity _

_Of__ the criminals. They don't know when the world_

_Will be destroyed."_

I look up after reading the news paper. Everyone mouth is open, and look s of terror and fear are on there faces. "You were right." Duncan says. "I need your help to stop this." I say. "Gwen we can't stop this." Courtney says. "yes we can, I know it sounds crazy but I saw this coming and I have to stop it, if you guys don't help me then all do it alone and there's no way in hell you can stop me." I reply. They exchange glances. I can't believe I'm saying this but we believe you but-" "but what?" I ask nervously. "But you should let the army stop this." Trent says. "No I m the one who has to stop this, I can't do it alone. Will you guys help me or not?" I say. I look around the room for any helpers. They all look down at the ground. "So you guys are just Gonna let everyone die." I say. No response. "'Guess I should've just died." I mumble Duncan looks up at me with concern. "What nobody's going to help so were either all going to die or I'm the only one who's going to die." I mouth. Duncan looks back at the floor.

Guess were all goners FML

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><p><em><strong>Okay there is chapter 4.<br>**_

_**Well bye thanks for reading and pls rec!**_

**_-xxperfectweaponxx_**


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